5 Signs You're With The WRONG Person!

Deanna Blizzard, Complete Elite
Nov 12, 2015
3 min read

1. LIES

It's a huge red flag if you or your partner feels the need to lie. People often lie out of shame or fear. They often believe they won’t be accepted if they tell the truth, so they lie. That spells trouble for a relationship. If we feel the need to lie to our partner, it means we don't trust them enough to love us for who we actually are. Either that, or we lie because we've done something hurtful and rather than deal with the consequences, we lie. In any event, trust is an absolute must in order to have a healthy relationship. There are those people who are dishonest, simply because they are selfish. These liars are pathological. They will lie even when it would be easier to tell the truth. Those types are holding the brightest red flag and waving it franticly in your face. Stay away! You simply can’t depend on them emotionally or practically.

2. THIS ISN'T THE BEST RELATIONSHIP YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN.

Ok be honest with yourself here. If you find yourself thinking back to happier times with your ex, you might be with the wrong person. Now I think we all can look back on a fond memory with a former flame and think those were good times, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm saying that if you can't honestly say to yourself that the relationship you are currently in is the best one you've ever been in as a whole, you might be with the wrong person.

3. YOUR PARTNER RELIES ON YOU FOR THEIR HAPPINESS (AND BLAMES YOU FOR THIER SADNESS).

I'm a firm believer that BOTH partners need to bring 100% into the relationship. You must be a whole person and they must be also. One person can't bring 50% and expect their other half to come from you. It's not your job to make anyone happy. Sure we all like to make our partners happy, and it's important to care for our partners and want the best for them, but their happiness is not our responsibility, it's theirs. We are responsible for our own happiness and also for our sadness. Yes we are responsible for our sadness as well. As adults, we need to take control of our own emotions and our lives and we simply can't let others continue to make us sad and we can't count on them for our happiness either.

4. YOU CRY MORE THAN YOU LAUGH.

This is a pretty simple one and a great barometer for any relationship. If you are crying yourself to sleep or can't focus on work through your tears more often than you are bellyache laughing with your partner, then you just might be with the wrong one.

5. LACK OF SUPPORT AND RESPECT.

This is my number one must in any relationship. Mutual respect is a very simple concept. It means that you treat your partner in a thoughtful and courteous way. It means that you avoid treating each other in rude and disrespectful ways, e.g., you do not engage in name calling, and do not insult or demean your partner. It also means that you do not ignore or avoid them. Finally, mutual respect means that you view the opinions, wishes and values of your partner as worthy of serious consideration. While this sounds very simple it takes a consistent effort to treat your partner respectfully. Respect is not just the absence negative behavior, but the presence of positive behaviors. Specifically, if you are treating your partner respectfully you are doing things such as: considering his/her opinion; consulting with your partner before making decisions that affect them; taking an active interest in their life (work, daily activities and interests); compromising and negotiating with your partner about important issues that affect both of you. If mutual respect is absent in your relationship, then you both might just be with the wrong person.